


Ataraxia

by evexe-n (manatsuko)



Series: DM Domestic Dictionary Drabbles [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Character Study, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9625379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manatsuko/pseuds/evexe-n
Summary: Ataraxia [at-uh-rak-see-uh](noun) A state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquillity.---"Listen, I know you're upset I had to cancel our date last week and-" Seto bristled and cut in, "Not everything that's on my mind always has to be about you, believe it or not."Atem sneered "No, but this time it is, isn't it?"---This started as an exercise in writing dialogue around the prompt "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no" & it turned longer than expected. Established relationship. A character study of sorts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The title is ironic, get it? Because it takes a long time to get to the point of ataraxia with these two
> 
> Anyway this starts from a premise that 1. Atem has his own body and 2. Seto and him have been dating/living together for a while now. It can be any AU you want as long as it has that. They're still figuring things out but they're trying their best, really. This is just a scene in their lives.
> 
> It's also not beta-read, so sorry for any errors!

 

               Utterly exhausted, Seto unlocked the front door. He was glad to be home at last. His week so far had been anything but great, but today took the cake. While he normally wouldn't mind staying longer at the office, the sheer stupidity of today's issue only helped raise his frustration to extreme levels. He just wanted to fall onto the nearest flat surface, preferably his bed, and sleep for the next eight hours.

               Realistically speaking, he knew he was more likely to get five at most, but that didn't deter him from wishful thinking.

               As soon as the door closed behind him with a click however, he took notice of the person waiting for him in the hallway. With a determined look on his face, Atem made a move as if to speak before Seto cut him off harshly.

                "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no."

               Atem raised an eyebrow, caught awkwardly in the middle of moving towards the other. He recovered his composure quickly.

               "But I haven't even said anything yet!" he exclaimed rather forcefully.

               Seto just huffed and hung his jacket on the nearby coat rack before taking his shoes off. "It's 11 p.m. on a Friday night. I'm late from work, yet you're still awake. Either it has something to do with my job or with your friends, neither of which I am in the mood to talk about right now."

               His only reply was a slight tilt of the head and a noncommittal hum. "Hectic workday?" Atem asked after another beat of silence.

               In all honesty, Seto was serious when he said he didn't want to talk right now, but he was well aware that straight up ignoring Atem's inquiries or being too curt would only make matters worse.

               "Some incompetent fool messed up a line in the programming while updating the system." He started, moving towards the kitchen. He might as well get something to drink, who knew how long this conversation was going to take. Atem did have an annoying habit of dragging conversation out of Seto when it was least wanted.

               "A virus managed to sneak past, which corrupted several important files before someone noticed. Usually I wouldn't bother helping with these things myself but we've been understaffed lately."

               He fell silent at this, opening a cabinet and grabbing the nearest cup. He stood there another moment. Atem had followed him and now stood at the opposite side of their kitchen, most likely observing his every move. He considered if it was worth the effort of moving past Atem again to get something from the fridge. Not willing to risk facing the other yet right now, he turned the tap on. Water would have to do.

               "Hmm, _you_? Short on staff?" said Atem from his spot near the stove. Even without turning to look, Seto could tell that Atem's complete focus was on him. It was something that exhilarated him in any other circumstance, but in times like this he wished the other was less perceptive.

               "It can't be helped, two of our best senior IT employees both had to take sick leave at the same time." He took a sip of water, throat feeling parched yet somehow unable to swallow properly. He wondered though, how long were they going to keep this up this time?

               This use of idle small talk to avoid the real issue at hand. 

               The lingering quiet was pierced by Atem's soft voice.  "Even if you _are_ short on staff, you shouldn't neglect yourself like this."

               Seto's fingers tightened around his cup. "Like _what_?" He spit out. He was sure that Atem would be able to see the sheer frustration in every line of his body, in the way his shoulders tensed and foot slightly twitched. When had they become able to see these little tics, these _weaknesses_ in eachother? How Seto hated being read like this, unable to hide behind his familiar walls. There wasn't much use in those walls at all when the other knew exactly where to find the cracks and didn't hesitate to strike where it hurt.

               Atem's tone sounded several degrees colder when he spoke up again. "Staying up late, skipping meals, oh, avoiding me, the usual." He was getting closer to his breaking point as well, Seto could tell. He still hadn't turned to meet his lover's eyes but he could imagine the look on his face, eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth downturned to match his frown. The same old expression of disappointment Seto had to face so many times in the past.

               Refusing to even acknowledge the last part of the other's accusation, Seto replied, "Like you say, I'm used to it, it's no big deal." He put down his still mostly-filled cup and met Atem's eyes at last, face perfectly blank. "I'll feel better once I get some sleep, as you should as well."

               Atem snorted and moved around the kitchen table. "See, I _almost_ believe that. That you're just moody because of the sleep deprivation, _as usual_. But you've been avoiding me for about a week now."

               He continued to move closer, gaze fixed on Seto. Like a predator prowling ever closer to its prey.

               "How I wonder what happened last week that caused you to just rush head first into work." Sarcasm dripped from his tone. He was really dead set on wringing this thing between them out of Seto, wasn't he?

               Those sharp, crimson eyes roamed his face, looking for any give. Seto tried as best as he could to keep it schooled in its current emotionless state. Atem was uncomfortably close now, and even the height difference didn't diminish how threatening his presence could be. Seto looked off to the side for a split second, towards the exit. Was it worth ignoring Atem, shoving him aside and just making a break for his room?

               As if sensing Seto's train of thought, Atem backed off some. He sighed.

               "Listen, I know you're upset I had to cancel our date last week and-" Seto bristled and cut in, "Not _everything_ that's on my mind always has to be about you, believe it or not."

               Atem sneered "No, but this time it is, isn't it?"

               Seto's mouth clacked shut. As always, Atem had hit the nail right on the head, but Seto never accepted defeat gracefully.

               Atem pulled his fingers through his hair, making some stray locks stick out even wilder. He closed his eyes. "You know I wouldn't have cancelled if it wasn't absolutely necessary at the time, right?"

               "I'm aware." Seto managed to grumble out between his clenched teeth. It wasn't Atem's fault, Seto was willing to admit, but that didn't make it sting any less when he got a text from _Yugi_ of all people, telling him that Atem wouldn't be on time for their date. The text message was riddled with spelling mistakes, as it turned out, because Yugi had broken an arm and could only use his non-dominant hand. Atem refused to let him take a cab to the hospital, insisting he drive him instead. As ever, worried about his partner.

               "You can't fault me for helping my friends, Seto. Usually it wouldn't have been an issue but a lot happened recently."

               Yes, Seto knew. Everyone off to study or work or do whatever, constantly busy. So busy that nobody else was available to drive their friend to the hospital. And stay there for the better part of the night. On the one day Seto had made sure he'd have time off for their date.

               "I repeat, I'm aware. You've mentioned it before."

               He leaned back against the sink, crossing his arms. He wasn't sure anymore if the action was to distance himself from the other, or because he wanted to appear more casual. More unaffected, perhaps.

               Atem's eyes softened the slightest bit, voice gentler as he asked, "It's not really about last week's incident either, is it?"

               God, how Seto hated him. Hated how he looked at him as if he was _fragile_ sometimes, as if he was something to be handled with care. It was plain wrong, he didn't need pity, not from anyone, least of all his rival. He did _not_ want pity from someone who was never meant to see his weaknesses, his insecurities, his failures. He did not want that, he just.... wanted _acknowledgement_ , of a sort. To be recognized as an equal. Even in the presumed safety of his mind, he refused to use the word 'validation' in any way. He was simply not sure anymore what it was he wanted from his rival. His lover.

               Last week's incident may not have been the cause for any of these... intrusive thoughts, he knew, but it was easier to pretend. Better to be bothered by a solitary event than consider it a symptom of a larger, underlying issue. 

               He was about to bite out another denial when Atem shifted again. Without a word, he moved to lean next to Seto against the sink. He kept enough distance to prevent their shoulders from  touching, but he could feel Atem's comforting warmth right next to him.

               Somehow, it was easier to let go like this, when he didn't have to look at the other. He cleared his throat.

               "No, it's not", he admitted truthfully.

               Atem leaned over, pressing their arms together shoulder to elbow.

               They stayed like this for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

               "Why did you agree to live here?" Seto asked.

               Atem seemed taken aback by the non sequitur. But Seto had to ask. He had been wondering for a while why Atem agreed to live here, of all places. When he'd asked if Atem wanted to move in, it had seemed a logical progression. Long before that point, Atem's personal belongings had been taking over small spaces throughout the house, slowly but surely. But even if Atem truly wanted this relationship, there was no reason for him to live at the mansion. They could've continued dating without the complication of officialy living together.

               It might have been easier, even.

               "What do you mean?" came the cautious response.

               "Here, at the mansion" Seto continued. "I spend most of my time at work, not here. And it's not close to where any of your friends live either."

               He could feel the Egyptian's cheek pressing into his shoulder now. It felt like he was smiling. "It's your home though. You don't live in your office, you live here."

               Their knuckles brushed lightly against eachother. Seto looked down at their hands, entranced. "I still can't see why you'd like coming back to an empty place like this," he mumbled, "You seemed happy when you lived with Yugi, closer to everyone else."

               "Everyone except you, you mean?" Atem closed the distance between their hands at last, entwining their fingers. His thumb started smoothing out soft circles on Seto's skin.

               Seto swallowed and grunted in affirmation.

               "I'm not dating any of them though, I'm dating _you_." He tilted his head to the side a bit, as if in thought. "And I was not, nor am I now, planning on playing the third wheel at Yugi's place for the rest of my life."

               Careful to keep their fingers entangled loosely, Atem moved to stand in front of Seto again. He put his other hand against the sink for support as he leaned forward.

               "Listen, you have every right to be upset about me 'ditching' our date, but at least give me a chance to make up for it instead of brooding around in your office." His face was so close that he couldn't be ignored. Seto found it impossible to look away from him, in fact.

               "Please", Atem added.

               Seto shut his eyes, letting out a sigh. Honestly, cancelling their date wasn't the issue, but rather the way it had happened. "I don't need you to 'make up' for anything. As you said, you had a good reason." It's not as if Seto _actually_ expected him to leave Yugi to fend for himself while he was hurt. He knew Atem better than that by now. And loathe as Seto was to admit it sometimes, he might have come to somewhat care about Yugi as well.

               Atem chuckled. "Yeah, but having a good reason doesn't seem to be doing wonders to your mood, now does it?" He disconnected their hands and reached up, lacing his fingers together at the back of Seto's neck. "Feelings don't always overlap with logic, what a surprise. Doesn't mean they're not valid."

               Seto gripped Atem's hips, unsure of how to respond. He needed to get this conversation back to more familiar territory. There was only so much he could handle in one day and his previous exhaustion was starting to make itself known again. His shoulders slumped, strung up energy leaving  his body all at once. He leaned down gently, letting his forehead touch Atem's.

               "Just ask whatever you wanted to ask when I came in already."

               Atem's laugh rang through the kitchen, clear as a bell. "Well, I _was_ going to suggest we order food and watch the recordings of yesterday's USA Duel Monsters Championship matches to analyze some of the newcomers' strategies, but if you'd rather go to sleep...."

               Seto pushed Atem lightly backwards, making him stand up and breaking their embrace. "Wait, let me get this straight. You waited up to corner me after I got back from work, just so you could try to cheer me up by what? Watching some third rate duelists screw up while eating cheap take-out?"

              "You love breaking down the newbies' mistakes in excruciating detail, don't lie." Atem smirked.

               Well... He couldn't deny that.

               "Nonetheless, if this is your idea of a date, it isn't a very romantic one."

               Atem brushed their lips together in a quick kiss before heading towards the living room. "Sure it is. Nothing says romance like competitive card games. It's the very foundation of our relationship."

               Seto rolled his eyes, trying not to smile. "Ugh, fine. You go put on the TV, I'll order Chinese."

               He got a nudge in the side for his suggestion. "Hey! What if I wanted pizza!?"

               "Too bad!" Seto yelled after the other as he turned the corner.

               Atem's laughter echoed down the hallway. 

               He was glad to be home.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, this started as way for me to practice dialogue and possibly warm up for a longer prideshipping fic I may or may not already have planned out.... I wanted to familiarize myelf with writing these characters first, so any feedback you have is welcome! 
> 
> I will probably look at this after I wake up and find all the mistakes I made in it.... UPDATE: fixed the lay-out, boy that was a mess ( TT A TT )
> 
> If you want to ask more questions or in detail stuff about why I write them the way I do, hmu on tumblr @[ evexe-n ](http://evexe-n.tumblr.com)!


End file.
